Okay, so this isn't technically one of the patented "Dr. Cox rants," but it's funny and involves Dr. Cox and makes a point, so I wanted to post it. It comes from the Scrubs episode "My Roommates." Dr. Cox's friend from college is visiting. The two of them have competed with each other for everything ever since they met, and now that they're both parents, that competition has carried down to their sons.
Dr. Cox has his friend and his friend's son over for supper. While his friend is changing his son's diaper, Dr. Cox says this to his son, Jack, in the style of a football coach's halftime speech.
(Note...Jack is two years old.)
"All right, Jack, listen to me. Ron's in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it's playtime. And, son, lately your coloring's been sloppy and your Elmo song -- well, unfortunately, it's lacked heart. Now you and I, we both know that your super-secret go-to toy are your building blocks. Well, it's time to shine, Jackie Cox. It is time to shine. Earn daddy's love on three. One, two, three -- earn daddy's love!" [Beats chest and kisses fingers.]