Monday, January 22, 2007


Okay, confession time here. About 4 or 5 times a year, I get my eyebrows waxed. Actually, I should qualify that. I get the middle of my eyebrow waxed to help provide the illusion that I actually have two eyebrows for at least some short span of time. It's a reality born out of necessity more than vanity. My unibrow is like Jerry Rice was in his prime. You can't stop it, you can only hope to contain it.

This past Friday, I had it done again. Usually, I just have them do that space in the middle...however, this time I had noticed my eyebrow(s) was (were) growing vertically, as well as horizontally. Downward, mostly, so that if nothing was done soon I'd be like that sheepdog in the old Looney Tunes cartoons who clocks in and out to guard the sheep each day from the coyote. "G'mornin', Sam." "G'mornin', Ralph."

So I had the bottoms of both eyebrows done too.

Holy. Crap.

When the girl was done she looked at me with a pained expression and said "wow, your skin turns really red!" Frankly, I was surprised there was actually any skin there...I just figured my eyebrows, with the Roots of Steel they apparently have, ripped off everything right down to...well, whatever is under the bit of skin betwen your eye socket and eyebrow.

It's Monday now, and it's finally gotten to the point where it only hurts if I touch it. Or if water makes contact with my face in the shower. Or if I do my patented Fire Marshall Bill Jim Carrey impersonation. Luckily, the redness went away, so I don't look like a circus clown.

And I don't look like a sheepdog, either.



Anonymous said...

Yeah, I hate waxing...I'm a tweezer myself. It's easier to keep them contained, and honestly, after awhile, you don't feel it anymore.

Anonymous said...

We must have similar skin--mine does the exact same thing. By the time it heals and isn't red anymore, it's time to do it again. I gave up. Did it make you sneeze, too?? :) Stick with just the middle. It hurts less and looks less stupid in the "bright freaking red" days.
Love, Lil' Sis

Rev Scott said...

oh, man, I'm sorry to tell you I laughed my fool head off at this... Thanks for a big laugh!

Mine, of course, are so lightly colored that it's hard to tell I even HAVE eyebrows. However, when mine get long, they get curly, so I do regularly trim my eyebrows with a beard trimmer. But if they're doing it at 32, can you imagine what they're going to look like if I make it to 92?

Anndi said...

I'm sorry but although I feel your pain... I laughed and laughed.. great post man.. oh Lordy.. *giggles*