I ran into Mr. Reimer, my high school choir teacher while on my way to the Nebraska-Colorado game a couple of weeks ago. He's still teaching, though it's at a different school now. He "retired" from the high school he had taught at for the past 29 years just this last May, and his son put together a big surprise party for him, inviting all the alumni he could find. There was at least one person there representing each class from 1977 through 2006. And, with only an hour beforehand to practice, we had a mass alumni choir sing 3 songs a la Mr. Holland's Opus, with our beloved teacher directing. I've got a clip from our rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water below.
Part of my job description now is church music director, and as part of that I'm responsible for directing the church choir. Other than my high school choirs, I have absolutely no formal vocal or choral training whatsoever, so whatever I do have I owe to Mr. Reimer. I found myself slipping in a "Reimer-ism" during choir rehearsal last night. The choir was practicing "Still, Still, Still" for the Christmas Eve service. The men and the altos keep time with half notes for most of the arrangement, with the sopranos having the only real moving part in the song. We were short on sopranos last night, and they were being overpowered by the others, so I stopped them and said, "okay...sopranos? You're Gladys. The rest of you? You're all Pips. All you Pips out there, when you're singing, think to yourself, 'can the congregation hear Gladys?' And Gladys? You're the one everyone came out to hear, so let 'em have it!"
Anyone reading this who was never in one of Mr. Reimer's choirs right now is thinking "well okay, that's nice." I can guarantee you though, that if you're reading this and ever had Mr. Reimer as a teacher, you've got a big ol' goofy grin plastered on your face.
Here's the clip from Bridge Over Troubled Water from back in May (sorry, our camera didn't have enough memory to get the whole thing). If I say so myself, not bad for a bunch of amateurs who were doing some glorified sight-singing...please excuse the audience members who started clapping woefully out of time:
T.A.(P)D.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Out of the mouths of babes...
I was in a hurry yesterday morning to whisk The Kiddo off to daycare so I could get to work. As he was eating breakfast, I was rushing around the kitchen straightening things up. After a few minutes I noticed that he had stopped eating and was watching me. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "Keep eating."
Kiddo: (with a big grin) "Daddy, we almost forgot to pray before breakfast!"
Me: (thinking to myself) "No, we didn't almost forget. We, or I, was in too much of a hurry and hoped you wouldn't notice. What kind of church Christian Education Director and dad am I anyway? I suck."
Me: (to The Kiddo) "You're RIGHT!!! We did almost forget!"
Kiddo: "Fold your hands, daddy. I'll pray for us."
Me: (folding hands) "Okay."
Me: (thinking to myself) "Yes, please pray for me, the hustling, bustling Martha to your smiling Mary. Kid, I love you to pieces. You're only two and already teaching me things."
Kiddo: "Come Lord Jesus, be our guest. And let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen."
Me: "Amen."
Amen, indeed. Let it be so! Kiddo, thanks for reminding your daddy of my need to pray, especially during those busy and hectic times.
Amen, amen, and amen!
T.A.(P)D.
Me: "Keep eating."
Kiddo: (with a big grin) "Daddy, we almost forgot to pray before breakfast!"
Me: (thinking to myself) "No, we didn't almost forget. We, or I, was in too much of a hurry and hoped you wouldn't notice. What kind of church Christian Education Director and dad am I anyway? I suck."
Me: (to The Kiddo) "You're RIGHT!!! We did almost forget!"
Kiddo: "Fold your hands, daddy. I'll pray for us."
Me: (folding hands) "Okay."
Me: (thinking to myself) "Yes, please pray for me, the hustling, bustling Martha to your smiling Mary. Kid, I love you to pieces. You're only two and already teaching me things."
Kiddo: "Come Lord Jesus, be our guest. And let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen."
Me: "Amen."
Amen, indeed. Let it be so! Kiddo, thanks for reminding your daddy of my need to pray, especially during those busy and hectic times.
Amen, amen, and amen!
T.A.(P)D.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Favorite Christmas Songs/Hymns
Well, I've covered musical Christmas annoyances...it's only right that we should address that Christmas is the subject of some of the most beautiful music ever written. Honestly, I think that's what annoys me about BAD Christmas music...it's like, there's so much GOOD stuff out there, why did you have to go write and/or sing this crap? My Christmas musical taste generally covers two extremes, which maybe mirrors the two theological extremes that converge in the Christmas event. In reflecting, I love big, powerful Christmas music, and I love quiet, simple Christmas music. Much of the stuff in between is fine too, but those are definitely my two preferences. And in a way, maybe that does mirror what happened at Christmas...we have the Lord of the universe coming with choirs of angels...but we also have a relatively anonymous teenaged mother giving birth in a barn. And both perspectives describe the same event. The post-modernist in me LOVES that kind of juxtaposition. So, on to the music (again, in no particular order):
Oh Holy Night: A couple of caveats here. First, ya gotta include all 3 verses. The first verse is nice and all, but the other 2 verses are such treasures...and far too often we don't get to hear them. There's some good, meaty theology of the cross to chew on in there. The third verse in particular is my favorite. Here's the text of the whole hymn for those who may not be aware of the other verses:
Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices,
Oh night divine! Oh night when Christ was born!
Oh night divine!
Oh night divine!
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King, before him lowly bend!
Behold your King, before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise his name forever!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
The second caveat is almost as important. This hymn HAS to be done right. Strong and powerful in the appropriate places, soft and subdued in other places. This isn't one that you can just belt it out for all it's worth (like say, Joy to the World) and it's not one that you can sing as a lullabye (like Silent Night). It's a little of both. And when done right, it will raise the hairs on the nape of your neck and bring tears of joy and wonder to your eyes. As far as versions you hear on the radio, there's actually very few that I'd classify as very good. Faith Hill does a good job with the nuances between strong and soft, but if I remember correctly she only sings the first verse. Most versions only sing the first verse, which is really too bad. I think musically my favorite version is Michael Crawford's. I haven't heard it yet this year and I don't remember offhand if he uses more than one verse, but I think he does. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
What Child Is This? First, I love the hymn. I love that it addresses both the humanity and divinity of Christ. The humility and the exaltation. I love that there is a verse that also points to the cross: "Nails, spear, shall pierce him through; the cross be borne for me, for you; hail, hail, the Word made flesh; the Babe, the son of Mary." And I love, just simply have fallen in love with the gorgeously simple arrangement John Denver did of this beautiful song. For me, his is the definitive rendition.
What Child is this who, laid to rest on Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet, while shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King, whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
Why lies He in such mean estate, where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here the silent Word is pleading.
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through, the cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh, come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings, let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise a song on high, the virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy for Christ is born, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
Mary, Did You Know? A relatively new song that also points to the cross as well as addresses the humanity and divinity of Christ. It was originally written by Mark Lowry, who is well known in many Christian circles (though not by many Lutherans) as part of Bill Gaither's band and a funny, though hyper Christian comedian. Frankly, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I first found out he had written this. It's been recorded by a number of folks, but I have yet to hear the recording that does full justice to this beautiful song:
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God.
The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb.
Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the Great I Am!
Joseph's Song Maybe it's because I'm a daddy now...but this beautiful song by Michael Card gets me every time. Just imagine Joseph holding his baby, eyes closed, asking God "how could it be? How can a man be father to the Son of God? Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter--how can I raise a King? How can I raise a King?" Doggone it, I'm getting all teary-eyed just TYPING about this song. I know how completely unworthy I felt when my own son was born...this song really drives home how Joseph must have felt. Whenever I accompany myself on this song, after the final "how could it be?" I always go up an octave and play the "sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace" ending from Silent Night. It seems to fit well, both thematically and musically, even though it's not part of the original arrangement.
If you've never heard this song before, do me a favor. Go out and purchase a copy of Michael Card's The Life, and listen to Joseph's Song. While you're at it, listen to the rest of the double-album as well--it goes through the life of Jesus, and Michael Card is an incredible songwriter. Here's the lyrics for Joseph's Song:
How could it be, this baby in my arms
Sleeping now so peacefully?
"The Son of God," the angel said--how could it be?
Lord, I know he's not my own.
Not of my flesh, not of my bones.
Still Father let this baby be the son of my love.
Father show me where I fit into This plan of Yours.
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter.
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king?
He looks so small, his face and hands so fair.
And when he cries the sun just seems to disappear.
But when he laughs, it shines again.
How could it be?
Father show me where I fit into this plan of Yours.
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter.
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king?
How could it be, this baby in my arms
Sleeping now so peacefully?
"The Son of God," the angel said--
How could it be?
For Unto Us a Child Is Born That's right, an oldie but a goodie by our old friend George Fredric Handel. Rich text, lifted straight from the prophecy in the 9th chapter of Isaiah, beautiful and memorable melody, and when done well by a chorus and orchestra, an amazing experience. Not to mention the fact that I always think of my sister, who when she was young was convinced that the song was about a "Wonderful Constable."
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given,
and the government shall be upon His shoulder;
and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor,
the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.
T.A.(P)D.
Oh Holy Night: A couple of caveats here. First, ya gotta include all 3 verses. The first verse is nice and all, but the other 2 verses are such treasures...and far too often we don't get to hear them. There's some good, meaty theology of the cross to chew on in there. The third verse in particular is my favorite. Here's the text of the whole hymn for those who may not be aware of the other verses:
Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices,
Oh night divine! Oh night when Christ was born!
Oh night divine!
Oh night divine!
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King, before him lowly bend!
Behold your King, before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise his name forever!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
The second caveat is almost as important. This hymn HAS to be done right. Strong and powerful in the appropriate places, soft and subdued in other places. This isn't one that you can just belt it out for all it's worth (like say, Joy to the World) and it's not one that you can sing as a lullabye (like Silent Night). It's a little of both. And when done right, it will raise the hairs on the nape of your neck and bring tears of joy and wonder to your eyes. As far as versions you hear on the radio, there's actually very few that I'd classify as very good. Faith Hill does a good job with the nuances between strong and soft, but if I remember correctly she only sings the first verse. Most versions only sing the first verse, which is really too bad. I think musically my favorite version is Michael Crawford's. I haven't heard it yet this year and I don't remember offhand if he uses more than one verse, but I think he does. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
What Child Is This? First, I love the hymn. I love that it addresses both the humanity and divinity of Christ. The humility and the exaltation. I love that there is a verse that also points to the cross: "Nails, spear, shall pierce him through; the cross be borne for me, for you; hail, hail, the Word made flesh; the Babe, the son of Mary." And I love, just simply have fallen in love with the gorgeously simple arrangement John Denver did of this beautiful song. For me, his is the definitive rendition.
What Child is this who, laid to rest on Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet, while shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King, whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
Why lies He in such mean estate, where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here the silent Word is pleading.
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through, the cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh, come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings, let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise a song on high, the virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy for Christ is born, the Babe, the Son of Mary.
Mary, Did You Know? A relatively new song that also points to the cross as well as addresses the humanity and divinity of Christ. It was originally written by Mark Lowry, who is well known in many Christian circles (though not by many Lutherans) as part of Bill Gaither's band and a funny, though hyper Christian comedian. Frankly, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I first found out he had written this. It's been recorded by a number of folks, but I have yet to hear the recording that does full justice to this beautiful song:
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God.
The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb.
Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the Great I Am!
Joseph's Song Maybe it's because I'm a daddy now...but this beautiful song by Michael Card gets me every time. Just imagine Joseph holding his baby, eyes closed, asking God "how could it be? How can a man be father to the Son of God? Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter--how can I raise a King? How can I raise a King?" Doggone it, I'm getting all teary-eyed just TYPING about this song. I know how completely unworthy I felt when my own son was born...this song really drives home how Joseph must have felt. Whenever I accompany myself on this song, after the final "how could it be?" I always go up an octave and play the "sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace" ending from Silent Night. It seems to fit well, both thematically and musically, even though it's not part of the original arrangement.
If you've never heard this song before, do me a favor. Go out and purchase a copy of Michael Card's The Life, and listen to Joseph's Song. While you're at it, listen to the rest of the double-album as well--it goes through the life of Jesus, and Michael Card is an incredible songwriter. Here's the lyrics for Joseph's Song:
How could it be, this baby in my arms
Sleeping now so peacefully?
"The Son of God," the angel said--how could it be?
Lord, I know he's not my own.
Not of my flesh, not of my bones.
Still Father let this baby be the son of my love.
Father show me where I fit into This plan of Yours.
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter.
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king?
He looks so small, his face and hands so fair.
And when he cries the sun just seems to disappear.
But when he laughs, it shines again.
How could it be?
Father show me where I fit into this plan of Yours.
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter.
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king?
How could it be, this baby in my arms
Sleeping now so peacefully?
"The Son of God," the angel said--
How could it be?
For Unto Us a Child Is Born That's right, an oldie but a goodie by our old friend George Fredric Handel. Rich text, lifted straight from the prophecy in the 9th chapter of Isaiah, beautiful and memorable melody, and when done well by a chorus and orchestra, an amazing experience. Not to mention the fact that I always think of my sister, who when she was young was convinced that the song was about a "Wonderful Constable."
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given,
and the government shall be upon His shoulder;
and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor,
the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.
T.A.(P)D.
Birthday Meme
The Rules:
1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)
My Birthday: April 30
My Events
1492 - Spain gives Christopher Columbus his commission of exploration.
1803 - Louisiana Purchase: The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling – overnight – the size of the young nation.
1945 - Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day.
People Who Share My Birthday
1916 - Robert Shaw, American conductor (d. 1999)
1933 - Willie Nelson, American musician, composer, and actor (COMPOSER?!?!)
1982 - Kirsten Dunst, American actress (Woo hoo! Eat your heart out, Spiderman!)
People Who Died on my Birthday
1994 - Richard Scarry, American author (b. 1919)
Holiday or Observance
Scandinavia - The arrival of spring, Walpurgis Night.
T.A.(P)D.
1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)
My Birthday: April 30
My Events
1492 - Spain gives Christopher Columbus his commission of exploration.
1803 - Louisiana Purchase: The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling – overnight – the size of the young nation.
1945 - Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day.
People Who Share My Birthday
1916 - Robert Shaw, American conductor (d. 1999)
1933 - Willie Nelson, American musician, composer, and actor (COMPOSER?!?!)
1982 - Kirsten Dunst, American actress (Woo hoo! Eat your heart out, Spiderman!)
People Who Died on my Birthday
1994 - Richard Scarry, American author (b. 1919)
Holiday or Observance
Scandinavia - The arrival of spring, Walpurgis Night.
T.A.(P)D.
Monday, December 04, 2006
"Scrubs" Rant of the Week
Dr. Cox talking to Chief of Medicine Dr. Bob Kelso:
"You know, Bob, I've been thinking about all the times that you've manipulated me and toyed with me, and, well, I can't help but recall that children's fable about the race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates. You see, Bob, the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him; but right at the end -- gosh, I'm sure you remember what happened, Bob -- the tortoise bit clean-through the chief of medicine's calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive, right there on the racetrack. It's a...disturbing children's book, Bob, I know, but it's one that stuck with me, nonetheless."
T.A.(P)D.
"You know, Bob, I've been thinking about all the times that you've manipulated me and toyed with me, and, well, I can't help but recall that children's fable about the race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates. You see, Bob, the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him; but right at the end -- gosh, I'm sure you remember what happened, Bob -- the tortoise bit clean-through the chief of medicine's calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive, right there on the racetrack. It's a...disturbing children's book, Bob, I know, but it's one that stuck with me, nonetheless."
T.A.(P)D.
"So, Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas..."
From the Mystery Science Theater 3000 classic Santa Claus Conquers the Martians:
Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate a barstool and gather round and sing.
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!
It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf had better make out his will ohh!
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...this can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest Christmas of them AAALLLLLLLLLL!"
Silly? Pointless?
Yes. (After all, that was pretty much the whole point of MST3K...to be both silly and pointless, in an incredibly intelligent way.)
However, I would contend that there are "Christmas" songs out there that get regular radio airplay that are just as pointless. Or, dare I say annoying. And I'm not talking about songs like Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer or the McKenzie Brothers' 12 Days of Christmas (you know, "on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a beer." Yeah, that one.). Those are meant to be silly, pointless, mildly annoying, etc.
But, here, in no particular order, is my list of most annoying Christmas songs that just get under my nerves and I really hate them with a passion:
1) The Christmas Shoes. I'm a sucker for sappy stories, but this one is just too doggone contrived. All they needed to do was put in something about a dead dog and a pickup that won't start and they could've had a country hit on their hands. I'm not sure why, but instead of feeling sad when I hear this song, I feel sarcastic. And used. And a little bit angry. Not exactly "the Christmas spirit..." Oh...and just because something mentions Jesus doesn't mean it's not a piece of drivelish crap. You don't get a free pass musically OR lyrically just for writing a Christian song.
2) Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. At least I think that's the title...after all, that's pretty much all he sings the whole song. And the tune, once it's in my head it never leaves. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing sometimes, but with this song since the tune is just ONE LINE LONG it's the same thing over and over and over..."simply having a wonderful Christmastime...simply having a wonderful Christmastime...simply having etc."
3) Last Christmas by either Wham or George Michael...does it really matter? "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special..." GAG. Personally, I think his problem is that he doesn't realize one can give one's heart away on days OTHER than Christmas. George, if it doesn't work out, you don't have to wait another 364 days, buddy! But PLEASE quit singing about it...
4) Step Into Christmas by Elton John. Um, only Elton John can get away with beginning lyrics like "welcome to my Christmas song, I'd like to thank you for the year." And the only thing that even MAKES this a Christmas song is that he uses the word "Christmas" a few times. The song itself, honestly, I do enjoy. But the absolute #1 most annoying thing about this one is the way it was mixed. You hear the instrumentals just fine, but it sounds like Elton's singing in the next room. I can just see him banging on the wall: "Hey! You!!! Welcome to my Christmas song!!!"
5) Christmas Canon by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. First, I'm kinda jaded about the whole Canon in D thing--too overused for pretty much EVERYTHING. But I could live with it if it wasn't for those KIDS singing "on this night, on this night, on this merry Christmas night, on this night, on this night, on this merry Christmas night" over and over and over and over and OVER. It's like a musical woodpecker eating away at your brain.
Well, that's 5 to get you started. Any others to add to the list?
T.A.(P)D.
Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate a barstool and gather round and sing.
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!
It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf had better make out his will ohh!
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...this can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest Christmas of them AAALLLLLLLLLL!"
Silly? Pointless?
Yes. (After all, that was pretty much the whole point of MST3K...to be both silly and pointless, in an incredibly intelligent way.)
However, I would contend that there are "Christmas" songs out there that get regular radio airplay that are just as pointless. Or, dare I say annoying. And I'm not talking about songs like Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer or the McKenzie Brothers' 12 Days of Christmas (you know, "on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a beer." Yeah, that one.). Those are meant to be silly, pointless, mildly annoying, etc.
But, here, in no particular order, is my list of most annoying Christmas songs that just get under my nerves and I really hate them with a passion:
1) The Christmas Shoes. I'm a sucker for sappy stories, but this one is just too doggone contrived. All they needed to do was put in something about a dead dog and a pickup that won't start and they could've had a country hit on their hands. I'm not sure why, but instead of feeling sad when I hear this song, I feel sarcastic. And used. And a little bit angry. Not exactly "the Christmas spirit..." Oh...and just because something mentions Jesus doesn't mean it's not a piece of drivelish crap. You don't get a free pass musically OR lyrically just for writing a Christian song.
2) Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. At least I think that's the title...after all, that's pretty much all he sings the whole song. And the tune, once it's in my head it never leaves. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing sometimes, but with this song since the tune is just ONE LINE LONG it's the same thing over and over and over..."simply having a wonderful Christmastime...simply having a wonderful Christmastime...simply having etc."
3) Last Christmas by either Wham or George Michael...does it really matter? "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special..." GAG. Personally, I think his problem is that he doesn't realize one can give one's heart away on days OTHER than Christmas. George, if it doesn't work out, you don't have to wait another 364 days, buddy! But PLEASE quit singing about it...
4) Step Into Christmas by Elton John. Um, only Elton John can get away with beginning lyrics like "welcome to my Christmas song, I'd like to thank you for the year." And the only thing that even MAKES this a Christmas song is that he uses the word "Christmas" a few times. The song itself, honestly, I do enjoy. But the absolute #1 most annoying thing about this one is the way it was mixed. You hear the instrumentals just fine, but it sounds like Elton's singing in the next room. I can just see him banging on the wall: "Hey! You!!! Welcome to my Christmas song!!!"
5) Christmas Canon by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. First, I'm kinda jaded about the whole Canon in D thing--too overused for pretty much EVERYTHING. But I could live with it if it wasn't for those KIDS singing "on this night, on this night, on this merry Christmas night, on this night, on this night, on this merry Christmas night" over and over and over and over and OVER. It's like a musical woodpecker eating away at your brain.
Well, that's 5 to get you started. Any others to add to the list?
T.A.(P)D.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Go team go!!!
This is a picture I took of my TV screen during a football game yesterday. I actually had to rewind the DVR and rewatch this 3 different times to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.
As you can see in the upper left-hand corner, it's the first quarter of the USC-UCLA game. UCLA has just kicked the extra point after scoring a touchdown, and all the cheerleaders are standing around like nothing's going on except the one in the middle, who's actually doing her job, celebrating the score...uh...what's that? What's that you say? Those are the USC cheerleaders?!?!?!
Oopsie-daisies...
T.A.(P)D.
Help! I'm being over-run by (Wild)Cats!!!!
My stat tracker tells me that I've been inundated by visitors from K-State's Rivals board today. Just wanted to give a friendly Husker hello!
Thanks, take care, and God bless!
T.A.(P)D.
Thanks, take care, and God bless!
T.A.(P)D.
Friday, December 01, 2006
And now, for your viewing pleasure...
...one of the most improbable endings to any sporting event anywhere. It's a Texas high school football game between Plano East and John Tyler high schools from 1994. Make sure your sound is up on this one--the announcers are just as entertaining as the game.
There's a YouTube comment on this clip that sums up the announcing:
Al Michaels: "Do you believe in miracles? YES!"
Plano East radio guy: "I done wet my britches!" (and yes, that's an actual quote.)
To set the stage, as the clip begins, John Tyler H.S. (in the light-colored uniforms) is ahead 41-17 with 2:42 left in the 4th quarter (that's right, less than 3 minutes until the END OF THE GAME). Plano East currently is on offense.
Enjoy.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand......action!
T.A.(P)D.
There's a YouTube comment on this clip that sums up the announcing:
Al Michaels: "Do you believe in miracles? YES!"
Plano East radio guy: "I done wet my britches!" (and yes, that's an actual quote.)
To set the stage, as the clip begins, John Tyler H.S. (in the light-colored uniforms) is ahead 41-17 with 2:42 left in the 4th quarter (that's right, less than 3 minutes until the END OF THE GAME). Plano East currently is on offense.
Enjoy.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand......action!
T.A.(P)D.
Thoughts of a Precocious 2 Year-Old
Some word-for-word quotes The Kiddo has said in the last 24 hours:
Said very loudly upon seeing a boxing match on TV in the restaurant where we were ordering food:
"Those guys aren't being very nice to each other."
After overhearing my wife and I discussing a football team that lost a game:
"They lost just like the Yankees lose!" (Wrong sport, but right sentiment...daddy was very proud after hearing that one!)
Watching me pop a mint in my mouth:
"I'm glad I'm growing up, otherwise I might not ever get to eat mints."
After passing gas while getting ready for bed last night:
"I'm not poopy, daddy...it's just air."
Sitting up in bed, at the top of his lungs at 2:30 this morning:
"I'm POOPY!!!!! I'm POOPY!!!! I'm POOOOOOOOOOOOOOPY!"
T.A.(P)D.
Said very loudly upon seeing a boxing match on TV in the restaurant where we were ordering food:
"Those guys aren't being very nice to each other."
After overhearing my wife and I discussing a football team that lost a game:
"They lost just like the Yankees lose!" (Wrong sport, but right sentiment...daddy was very proud after hearing that one!)
Watching me pop a mint in my mouth:
"I'm glad I'm growing up, otherwise I might not ever get to eat mints."
After passing gas while getting ready for bed last night:
"I'm not poopy, daddy...it's just air."
Sitting up in bed, at the top of his lungs at 2:30 this morning:
"I'm POOPY!!!!! I'm POOPY!!!! I'm POOOOOOOOOOOOOOPY!"
T.A.(P)D.
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